Breathtaking Eros

So Ninja and I are no more.

The whole thing is quite vexing, disappointing, and unhealthy, but all I can do is move on. This blog is about sex, though, so I’ll try to stay on topic. It’s a bit of an untimely shame, without taking into consideration all the gloomy details, because in just a few weeks’ time I’ll be back home for a week, and before things got nasty I had high hopes for sexual enjoyment. It never failed me.

So no one can tell when the next time I’ll get sexual enjoyment will be. Of course, I’ve always got stuff to write about, so don’t fret. But, damn it. Square one.

Temporary solution? Masturbate.

Some of you may have heard of the “sex challenge” some pastor in Florida recently issued to his followers. Google it up or click here. Married couples are supposed to have sex for thirty days straight, and singletons are supposed to abstain for that time period. I think that’s kind of harsh for the single people. They should have some sort of option.

I want a sex challenge. What can I do, being separated from my sex partner? I guess I could masturbate for thirty days, but that’s not too much of a challenge. I’ll have to think of something colorful. Masturbate in a different place for thirty days? Haha. Risky. Any ideas?

I think I’m being punished. I really, really do, and I’m not sure what to do about it.

Anyway, I had some free time last night so I decided to do some cardio kickboxing. Got on my sports bra, shorts, shoes, bandana, put on some good beats and was jabbing and kicking my way around my room while I was alone. Worked up a good sweat, tried not to let myself wuss out, and did a pretty good job. I’m a weakling, I don’t dare count on my two hands the number of push-ups I can do. But that’s alright, huh?

So I grabbed my robe and headed to the bathroom to shower. I caught myself in the mirror, of course. We’re all at least accidental narcissists. I think I look kind of hot when I’m all worked up like that. And when my hair’s up, you can see the bone structure of my face. Mmm, jawline. One of the best parts on a man. Shame there ain’t no men here…

So I took my shower and washed away all my sexy looks. I’m saving them. For someone special.

Today is Ninja’s and my one-year anniversary. I don’t really know what to do with myself, at the moment. Just one year, but a full one year. The best and most insane year yet!

I’d love to sit over dinner and talk. Go out on a date, dress up all sexy, nibble his ears and hold his hand. Tap on his feet with my toes and grin a silly grin. Play games, debate things, and draw together. Naked. And lead into some intercourse with all the works. I’ve never had a landmark like this. Just like any other day, I wish I could show him that I love him. With lots of physical attention. Lots.

Thus is the life of a sad girl in love!

So, since I can’t be treated to a fine dinner, can’t cuddle under a blanket watching a movie, can’t strip him of his clothes and start the fireworks on the nearest stable (or unstable) surface and so on, what can I do? Damn it. All I can do is take pictures and a bit of video. That’s not good enough, but I guess that’s all I’ve got at my hand.

Ninja has been bugging me to strip for him, haha… take pictures of that. It started from the Valentine’s Day pictures I sent him, in which I played dress up and donned some fishnets and my lovely, fitted, black strapless shirt. It was meant to be a joke, really, at first. I asked him if he liked fishnets, and he said, “on some legs.” Well… did he like them on mine? So I hopped on my desk, set the timer, and struck a pose. And he decided that he wanted more, and more, and more. He’s likened his desire for photographs to an addiction. That was his V-Day gift, me in fishnets being sexy. (He still owes me MY pictures…) And after such escapades he decided that he wanted pictures of me stripping. Oooohh silly boy, I’ve never done such a thing. He didn’t care, naturally. “I’ll be your coach!” he piped up. Yeah, sure…

I don’t know. Maybe I’ll see about taking some pictures for him of that nature. It’s just a pain in the ass, resorting to such things. I don’t want to give him a cute folder of hot pictures. I want to be there, do it in person! Haha, that would probably be worse. But, still, damn it all. I hate how big the world is, I just want to have a day with my boyfriend.

Angst!

So Eros has put my libido in full swing and I hate it. I masturbate all the time, I dream about sex, I can’t concentrate on anything. It’s a pain. I was talking to one of my close male friends, Pyro, and he laughed his ass off at me and told me I had the mentality of a man. Well, we had talked about the end of the world and I said I’d be one of those people who’d want to get laid beforehand, and also that Valentine’s Day (today) should be free sex day and lets all orgy. I was joking about that second part, but if Ninja were within grasp I’d be doing him right now.

If I can’t have sex, I might as well talk about sex with people who can handle it. Which includes you fine people, thanks for being part of my therapy! It’s something of a relief, made me laugh quite a bit. Funny the things you learn about people, too… Including the fact that one of my more innocent friends has a catgirl fetish. I think that’s hilariously cute, but it’s on the down-low. And he didn’t start masturbating ’til he was in college, he said. I had to choke back my pity, poor boy.

For Valentine’s Day I am to send Ninja a few pictures, and he is to do the same. Or he’d damn well better. I was only able to get in one pic of my boobs nicely being thrust out of my shirt before Brat Roommate came back from class. His response was to tell me he was going to fuck my brains out when he saw me next. That.. did NOT help. I want him now, now, now. I want his cock, now. Off with my clothes, now. Lock out the roommate, now. Now, now, not. Whine, whine, whine.

I am so frustrated right now…

So I don’t really know how I got on Literotica but I was there after spending a few re-writing a chapter in a book I must analyze. Masturbating to erotica and other visual stimulation is interesting for me because I get swollen and super wet as time goes on, much moreso than when I’m living out something in my head. The orgasms are fun albeit a bit more challenging because being so engorged makes finding my hotspots a treasure hunt. But, there I was, reading and rubbing away to some story about a threesome (coincidence) and soon the elusive Orgasm sent me shuddering in my seat. Upon removing my hands from my pants I decided I should wash them, as they were quite sticky. And as I washed away the evidence (and washed my blushing face, too) I noticed a sting on my hand. I look down and see a whole patch of skin has been rubbed away on my hand and is now oozing. Damn it, I didn’t even notice.

What a pain, I’d rather have cock.

As per usual, I woke up this morning. Took my shower, got on some clothes, sat down on here to catch up on some last-minute class-related things (and sex-related things) and got up to leave. I was walking towards the door, books in hand, determined. And instead I banked left into the bathroom and had a quickie. I was almost late for class because of it, but it would have been super worth it. It made my day have a shine to it, really. I just laugh instead of get stressed. That’s a pretty good way to be, huh? Endorphines are marvelous things. Actually, I think I’ll go give myself a dosage right now. Or, in a minute. I have a curious revelation I shall express.

So, remember I made that movie for Ninja a few days ago? Whilst making that video, probably due to nerves and paranoia and the possibility of distractions, it didn’t matter that I was using my new patented Two-Minute Method - it was going on for too long. I had myself sitting naked against the drawers under my bed (it’s high up, I literally have to jump up there, haha) so he could see my face and the rest of me. Well, fyi, I typically masturbate while I’m laying down (or sitting in my chair… if I’m at my computer… shhh) and with my underwear on or at least a blanket over me. In order to move my trusty right hand easily and comfortably, I use my left hand to prop up whatever I’ve got around me, which involves resting it on my pelvis or thigh or groin area of course. Being nude, I didn’t need my left hand to move anything out of the way, so I just sort of leaned on it. But, as my breath was catching in my throat and time ticked by and I was stifling worries about my camera battery dying, I thought about The Masturbation Position and just rested my hand at my pelvis and…

LO and BEHOLD, a short time later - orgasm.

I wonder why that is. What sort of acclamation had I fallen into? This could be bad, since I seem to have a mountain of issues preventing me from climaxing in the presence of my lover anyway. Now I have some formula I need to follow? Fuck that.

But there is hope. You see, this morning, in my haste, I did not take any steps to set up except drop my pants, crouch on the floor, and put my hand where it wanted to be. Well, and move my ring so that it wouldn’t tear at my pants. And Two Minutes later I was opening the bathroom door, blushing, and running off to class. Yes, I did it one-handed.

This is all probably trivial, and I am just glad I was able to cum to begin with. But I hear rumours of desensitization and all sorts of things that make The O an elusive and tricky beast. Oh well, I’m going to go… go.